Meaning Isn’t Magic — It’s Made
A quick note: 'Spirituality with Skin' is our ongoing conversation (even experiment) in making “spiritual” tangible...how meaning, mystery, and real life actually connect in our real lives. If you’re just jumping in (or want to revisit earlier posts), here’s the running archive: read previous entries here.
What does "meaning" even mean? I didn’t spend much time thinking about that growing up. Same for early adulthood. Life just kinda...happened...like it does for a lot of us, if we think about it. I became a dad at nineteen, which answered the "meaning" question quickly and simply: be steady, be present, keep the lights on. I lived that out the best I knew how at the time, so I did the respectable grown-up shuffle...work, build, repeat...and assumed the meaning question was already answered. Somewhere after Katrinna, but before my second child was born in I “found God" while doing prison ministry as an atheist. (Yes, that sentence is a lot, but it's a story for another time.) Even then, I treated meaning like weather...it was something that someone else told me, and it may or may not change at anytime. Then, through a series of events...divorce, job losses, and the painful loss of (what I thought) was my community, my life and everything it "meant" to me was....gone. At first, I weathered it "well", but it took me a little over a year for me to realize I have no idea what my life...meant...any more...if it ever meant anything at all. It's been a few years since that moment, and sadly...there was no here was no rescue party to come in a tell me what my life meant. It was just me, Morgan (my wife who was there from ground-zero-meaning), and a stubborn inheritance from my parents: when you’re tired, hurt, or broken, try to do the next right thing in front of you. Keep moving. As I did, I noticed a few things:
First, I noticed that when no one’s swooping in, you learn the quiet math of service: do what you can, where you are, with what you’ve got. Every tradition I’ve learned from sings this in its own key...seva and langar (Sikh and Hindu) zakat and sadaqah (Islam), love your neighbor (Jesus). For me, that showed itself in the Good Samaritan Initiative work with the unhoused in Central City. Eventually it spilled over into help my new friends with things they needed help with, expecting nothing in return from them. The thing is, it wasn’t about being a hero; it was about refusing to let the hard thing have the last word. I learned that service doesn’t erase pain, but it gives you a direction to walk while you heal.
Second, I noticed story, not the story I told myself, but the REAL story of my life. It took time to tell the truth about my own mess...without tidy edges. I learned that narrative work isn’t a performance, but acts as scaffolding. Faith communities have known this for ages...Passover’s “we were slaves,” Jesus’ pocket-sized parables, the Qur’an’s layered stories like Yusuf/Joseph. The point isn’t to airbrush suffering; it’s to place it inside a larger whole. Naming my story out loud...and listening to others do the same...kept me from shrinking my life down to the worst chapter.
Third, I noticed belonging, and what it means to REALLY belong. When community evaporates, you learn how essential even a small circle is. For me, belonging looked like Morgan’s steady presence and a few WONDERFUL friends where questions were far more important than answers. Belonging didn’t fix everything, but it made the next day possible. Meaning stabilizes when other humans keep showing up, even if it’s just two of you.
So…what is meaning, really? I used to think it was a title or a capital-C Calling, but that’s not it—not by a long shot. Psych folks would say it has three parts...your life makes sense (coherence), you’re aimed at something (purpose), and it matters to someone, including you (mattering). Philosophers add that it isn’t just any hustle, it’s giving yourself to projects of real worth, the kind that connect you to values bigger than you. In plain speak: align what’s sacred → show up → do good work that’s actually good → for more than just you. Where I’ve landed is that meaning is the lived alignment between what you hold sacred and how you actually show up. And it’s built the unsexy way...slowly through service, clarified in honest stories, and sustained in belonging. It's more like going to the gym, and everyone knows you get stronger and healthier with small, repeated moves. For me, Just Love eventually became the gym when I showed up for neighbors, let curiosity lead to compassion, and let compassion stitch people back into community, me included.
So...if you are having trouble with the meaning of "meaning"...here's a few simple steps you can take to help you begin to answer that question for yourself.
Service (one small, helpful act): In the next few days, spend 10 minutes doing the next right small thing...wash dishes you didn’t use, send a “thinking of you” text, bring someone coffee, donate a pair of socks. Keep it quiet...no selfies and no speech. Do the thing, breathe once...on purpose, then move on. Tiny + consistent beats heroic + rare ALL DAY LONG.
Story (name what’s true): Write a 3-sentence snapshot of one chapter of something you have (or are) living through. Be sure it has a beginning (what happened), a middle (what it feels like), and an End-ish (what you’re learning). Add one line: “This week I’ll walk it out by ______.” You can read it out loud to yourself, in a kind voice with no editor hat. If it helps, stick it in your Notes app or your bathroom mirror (lipstick or post-it..your choice) and check it mid-week.
Belonging (show up, lightly): Connect with one person and ask, “Got 20 minutes for a walk/coffee?” Put it on the calendar before the moment passes. Keep it low-stakes, be present and not perfect. If plans fall through, try again or send a quick voice memo to them....being human beats being perfect every time.
Extra credit: Peek at our website for a simple way to plug in...restock a Little Free Library, share an hour at Good Samaritan, or catch the latest Curious Krewe gathering/podcast. Small moves, repeated over time build meaning.
If you’re in a season that feels raw or undone, you’re not failing; you’re just...forming. Truth be told, meaning is something that is ALWAYS under construction, and there’s real....holiness...in that. Until next time, may your service be small and steady, your stories honest and held, and your belonging come with snacks. May you wake up tomorrow a hair more aligned than today—and may that be enough to keep going...with meaning.
Grace and peace,
Sam
